And Baby Makes Three- Finding Time Together

Becoming a parent can be stressful and can challenge even the most stable relationships. Difficult as it may appear, it’s crucial more so now than ever to spend some time as a couple in order to keep your relationship strong. Having daily routines in place for you and your baby such as” sleep training for babies ” will help you to use your time well and permit you more time to spend with your partner.

New moms frequently feel overwhelmed with their new role. Often they have gone from a job or a challenging career where they were regarded highly, surrounded by colleagues to being at home, totally alone, struggling to discover how to look after their baby. Sleep deprivation and the never-ending workload takes its toll and mothers truly need to spend time with their partners so they can once more feel valued and loved.

From a Dad’s point of view he has all of a sudden taken a back seat. Where in the past he might have had his partner’s undivided attention he now has to compete with this small new family addition and as a consequence may feel left out and seem withdrawn or resentful. He too needs to know that he’s an important figure in his partner’s life.

Spending time with each other really is a priority. It sends the message to each other you are both valued and worth spending time with, although life is probably hectic and time precious. It won’t only assist nurture your relationship but unite you as a family. What better environment to provide for your children. A presenter I once listened to said “By investing time in your relationship you're also investing time in your children’s future happiness” “I couldn’t agree more.

Suggestions to Finding Time Together

Because your lives are so much busier now, you will probably have to “plan ahead” to slot in some special time together.

Below are some suggestions:

• Attempt to spend time together after your baby goes to sleep to talk and share feelings. Even 1 or 2 minutes can be useful.
• As a family go for a walk, you and your partner can grab a little time together while your baby enjoys a ride in the pram. If your baby has been unsettled this is the perfect time - baby will most likely fall asleep and you have the additional advantage of time with your partner.
• If at all possible try to make a regular weekly outing with just the 2 of you. As soon as you’re feeling comfortable being separated from your baby, ask a friend or relative to mind baby for a few hours and head out to dinner or a show. You could be surprised at how some time alone together, away from your hectic environment, can remind you how important you are to one another and that you have other wants and needs outside of being a parent.
• If you don’t feel comfortable about leaving the baby with a sitter just yet, organize a special dinner at home or put on a film after you put the baby to bed. Try to stop interruptions by unplugging the telephone or using an ansaphone.
• If you have friends or family with young children themselves, they may be more than happy to exchange baby-sitting services.

Ngaire Moulds, mother of 4, has 20 years ‘ experience bringing up children. Having had 4 children under 5 and now the mother of 4 teenagers she has experienced raising babies, toddlers and teenagers. As her children became more independent she gained childcare qualifications, worked for several years in this field and is now in the process of creating a book. Visit her website routines for babies for practical concepts on subjects such as sleep training for babies, infant feeding schedules and finding time for yourself.